These theories should all be taken with a lot of salt, and dismissed out-of-hand by a reasonable and prudent person.
On the coming gravity crises.
I am going to help ease the gravity crisis by using less gravity during my lifetime. Few people are aware of the gravity (no pun intended) of the situation with gravity. In fact recent estimates have been made that our modern consumerist society is using up gravity at a rate which far exceeds its natural replenishment. At this rate of usage, we will run out of gravity in the not-too-distant future, and then life as we know it will become impossible on the Earth. We need to reduce our reliance on gravity immediately, and the best way to do this is to use less of it in our day-to-day activities and conserve it when we can.
I am doing my part by moving my books and other heavy objects from the bottom of my bookcases to the top shelves. You see, gravity is generated from deep inside the earth, and the farther away from the center one gets, the less gravity there is. That is why the astronauts can float in space, they are outside of the gravitational effects of the Earth's gravity forces. In fact when NASA sends people into space, it is helping ease the gravity crises immediately. But since I am not an astronaut, I must remain tethered to the world, but I can still do my part! So, besides moving my books higher to use less gravity, I am also moving concrete rubble and other heavy items from near sea level to high in the hills. Most people will have to get permission from the landowners in the hills to move rubble onto their property, but I am generously using my own land for the benefit of the world to store heavy items high in the hills where they will use less gravity. In fact, since they will likely stay there for a long time (no one would want to move them lower and use up more gravity, now would they?), I will be saving a huge amount of gravity over the next several centuries.
There are many things the average person can do to save gravity on a day to day basis. As I have done, move heavy items higher in your bookcases and refrigerator. Eat your lunch and supper on the roof of your house. Take elevators up buildings so you get higher quicker, but walk down the stairs so you stay high longer. Take your vacations in the mountains instead of tropical beaches where you are closer to the 'center of gravity' and will use more. And give up snorkeling and scuba diving because you use a huge amount of gravity when you get lower than the waters level.
Travel by plane a lot, the more time you spend at 30,000 feet, the less gravity you will waste engaged in trivial matters on the ground. Petition congress to build more huge hydro-electric and water storage dams. These dams high in the hills will hold back much water which would otherwise rush to the sea and use more gravity. If we could eventually impound the worlds waters in the mountains, and let the seas dry up, the crises would certainly be over!
So everyone, rise to the challenge, and conserve this most precious and useful of natural resources, just because you can't see it doesn't mean we can take it for granted!
On dark suckers, and the power of light.
We all have seen our fluorescent tubes get dark at the ends and stop working. Well, most consumers being generally unaware of the nature of things think this means that they are not making light any more. But the opposite is in fact true, they are in fact not taking dark away any more. The fact is, the dominant force in the universe is darkness. It is everywhere you look in space. Watch any space movie (esp. Alien), it is dark all around all the time. Now, when we take a log and burn it, it goes from being a light color to being dark, but meantime it will 'produce' light. This is what the government wants you to believe, but the fact is, it is sucking up darkness into itself, and this will burn it, causing it to disintegrate and crumble away. Look at your campfire some morning after it has burned down. It is all dark ashes. This is the stored darkness contained within the remnants of the logs. Bury these deep in the ground so that they will not escape for some time.
The same thing is happening with your fluorescent tubes mentioned at the top of this alert. The tubes are empty when you put them in the fixture, but when they have worked for so long and sucked in so much darkness, they will become full of darkness and this is what you see leaking around the ends of the tubes. This is why the government requests that tubes be disposed of properly. We don't need untrained individuals breaking these tubes open all over and releasing all that dark. And you'll notice, that when the workers dispose of the tubes, they go into a dark box, with a vacuum attachment. This vacuum actually sucks up the darkness and readies it for proper disposal.
Now when you get batteries for your portable darksucker (flashlight) you are actually getting empty batteries. These will accept darkness into them when the switch is turned on, but will quickly fill with darkness requiring them to be (properly) disposed of, and replaced with fresh empty ones.
Now, this all brings up the question of which is stronger, light or dark? And I have reflected many years on this most vital of matters. And I have come to the conclusion that light is more powerful in the end. This can be demonstrated by the simple act of using two rooms connected by a door. Have the darksuckers (lights) on in one room, and the other room can remain dark. Sit in the dark room, and you will see the light seeping in around the edges of the doorway as the darksuckers reach a bit into that room taking away the darkness at the edges. But if you go into the light room, you will not see any darkness trickling into that room. This simple experiment, performed by me using the modern scientific methods of test and evaluation has been repeated many thousands of times, with ALWAYS the same result. It is for this reason that I can loudly and proudly say that light is indeed stronger than dark.
On how smoke is the prime factor in electricity.
Yes folks, there are many things the government does not want you to know about. Besides the grassy knoll, the fake moon shots, and the silly thinking that the Earth is round (anyone can see it is flat) they don't want you to know that it is smoke that makes electricity work. I went along with the 'sheep-ple' of the world for many years thinking that electricity consisted of something to do with atoms, molecules, movement and stuff like that, but now I know that it is smoke that is the principal factor in electricity. I realized this one day when I plugged my toaster in, and something snapped, and the smoke in the wires escaped and left a mark on the toaster. It would not work after that because the smoke had been released from it, and I didn't know how to get it back in. One can observe the force in smoke by looking at your basic campfire. It is smoky and hot. When the smoke is all gone the next day it is no longer hot. Smoke is energy and heat. It is made at large smoke producing plants and transmitted to your house through thin hollow wires where it powers all your appliances. When something goes wrong the smoke is released and the appliance will no longer work. At this time the appliance can be taken to a repair shop where they will patch the hole in the wire, and refill the wires with fresh smoke.
Rivenrock Gardens assumes no responsibility if someone actually believes these wacky theories and embaresses themselves at a cocktail party by speaking of these things as if they were actually true.