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54th Annual
Lompoc Valley Flower Festival
The 54th Annual Flower Festival will be held June 21st through 25th, 2006
This years Flower Festival will be held June 21st through 25th. Featuring a top ranked parade starting promptly Saturday at 10:00am. The Carnival will run for 5 days, Davis Enterprises will thrill you with some of the greatest rides and fun. The Arts and Crafts display will be Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Commercial Center is open all five days for that unique gift or item you just have to have. Paid parking is available on-site at a nominal fee. The Flower Show is sponsored by the Alpha Literary and Improvement Club of Lompoc. this will be the 80th annual Flower Show. And as always admission to the park is free along with the great entertainment on the main stage.
June 30, 2006
An 'Icy' reception
I went to a ranch that specializes in Icelandic Ponies (called Icies) to look the breed over. although I naturally am drawn to huge horses, I have heard so much of these rugged little ponies that the Vikings used to use for their war raids.
I was so very pleasantly surprised to see that a little pony that probably only weighs four times what I weigh could carry my weight and not seem to suffer from it. Although it is a little disconcerting to feel a little animal move under me instead of the big back that a 'normal' horse would have, these little animals were able to easily carry my 250 lbs.
The ranch is Short N' Sweet Ranch, of Templeton Calif. I also made a screensaver of the little ponies that you can see at Rivenrock Screensavers.
Over the last few years that I have been researching these little ponies, I am impressed by the number of Icy enthusiasts who seem to have a basic knowledge of the Norse culture. My father is of much Norse heritage, and he raised us with many of the old sagas which he long ago memorized. He can tell us the story of why the salmon has a flat tail (Thor gripped the trickster/shapeshifter called Loki when he was in the guise of a fish). Well, when I saw on Debby Sweet's website that they have a little pony named Loki, I just had to look it over. It is a really fascinating and cute page with the cutest little pony you've ever seen. See Loki yourself at Loki's baby announcement
June 27, 2006
Puff, the magic dragon
~written by by Lenny Lipton~
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff,
and brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff.
OH Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff's gigantic tail,
Noble kings and princes would bow whenever they came,
Pirate ships would lower their flag when Puff roared out his name
OH, Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his life-long friend, Puff could not be brave,
So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave.
Oh! Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee
Memories are becoming the most precious things to me now. And they are triggered by scents and sounds that invoke recollections of far off times in what seems to be a different land than that which I now live in. This was made apparent during a little family get together for my Dad’s birthday. My sister the poet in Paso Robles and my brother the mechanic in North Carolina settled a long standing bet that my sister lost three decades ago, and she had to sing the poem ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ in public before the assembled family. That eloquent rendering of the song of wistful youthful follies brought back the time when the three of us were young children with the riverbed to play in, the hills to roam collecting rocks, snakes and lizards, and the bountiful ocean with its gifts of exotic Japanese glass net spheres, shells and the countless mysteries of the unfathomable depths.
And now my brother is headed back to the hills of Carolina, and I will not see him for years again, my sister has gone with her family back to the plains of Paso Robles, and I have returned to the hills of Nipomo. And now, eventide has brought a flood of those childhood memories that came so easily from the lips of my sister as she sang this paean to childhood innocence.
Your family is the most treasured thing you have, guard it well, and cherish the times you spend together. ‘Save’ each moment in your data banks, and file them carefully so that you may access the memories when the time comes that that is all that you have left of those people.
God gives us gifts that so often we do not know the value of until they are taken from us. Do not take anything lightly, each and every moment is a gift that can be played over in your head when you need to relive a precious instant.
June 24, 2006
A Bunch of Roses
~A Banjo Paterson 1864 - 1941~
Roses ruddy and roses white,
What are the joys that my heart discloses?
Sitting alone in the fading light
Memories come to me here tonight
With the wonderful scent of the big red roses.
Memories come as the daylight fades
Down on the hearth where the firelight dozes;
Flicker and flutter the lights and shades,
And I see the face of a queen of maids
Whose memory comes with the scent of roses.
Visions arise of a scent of mirth,
And a ball-room belle who superbly poses --
A queenly woman of queenly worth,
And I am the happiest man on earth
With a single flower from a bunch of roses.
Only her memory lives tonight --
God in his wisdom her young life closes;
Over her grave may the turf be light,
Cover her coffin with roses white
She was always fond of the big white roses.
Such are the visions that fade away --
Man proposes and God disposes;
Look in the glass and I see today
Only an old man, worn and grey,
Bending his head to a bunch of roses.
June 23, 2006
Our Nursery Inspection
We had an inspection of our plant nursery material today. The inspection was conducted by the County of San Luis Obispo Agriculture and Weights and Measures Department.
We have enjoyed a good working relationship with these people over the years. I have come to see them as helpers of Agriculture, helping keep standards high so that we don't get in noxious weeds and insects, nor move them to other areas.
With the increased amounts and ease of material movement, it is inevitable that people will transport insects we don't want such as fire ants, Nile Mosquito, and Medfly. The job of the Ag Department is to educate growers like us, and the public at large as to the huge economic and cultural loss when we get an invasive species from elsewhere that has no natural enemies here, and can easily run rampant and change our entire way of life.
Now, 'Our entire way of life' you might say...isn't that a bit of hyperbole? Well, I submit that it is not. Consider how our own perceptions as to mosquito bites have changed in the last few years. What used to be seen as an itchy annoyance can now be feared to become the first in a long string of debilitating illnesses.
Gone are the minor annoyances of invading ants at a picnic, now we have the deadly results of fire ant, and their predilection to setting up nests in electrical equipment such as phone boxes, computers, or agricultural field equipment.
My grandmother was once detained at LAX for several hours for bringing in some home made bacon and sausage from family in Germany. It was a bit amusing while sad at the same time to see this seventy year old lady sitting in the glass booth while being questioned as to her complicity in a 'meat scheme'. But yet, it is inevitably imports of disease material that will so often run through a non-resistant population unencumbered by any natural enemy.
So, I understand the governments interference in matters such as this. Although I believe that 'the government that governs least, governs best', I still agree that certain hold must be made over the population to enable cleanliness for the common good.
Our new licenses can be viewed at Nursery Inspection, and SOD Inspection.
Although compliance with the law is a bit of a bother, and there are costs incurred, the end result is good for the people, and the land and wildlife. So I encourage all people to buy from accredited nurseries that are doing business in the proper and legal fashion, it is for the betterment of us all that they do so.
There is the saying..”it’s not so hard doing what’s right, it’s just maybe not as much fun” might apply for some folks, but for me that’s not the case. Since I so genuinely enjoy meeting people, I have a good time with the inspectors who come by, they are a nice bunch of people, and I enjoy showing them our operation, and they have much valuable information for me. So the visits by them are a good education for me, and perhaps they enjoy the visit also.
June 21, 2006
A Walk in the Canyon
These Coastal Live Oaks are probably two to three hundred years old. I often wish these trees could speak to me of what they've seen. The wanderings of the Chumash, the early Spanish, gold miners, and the Americans all have walked under these very trees.
June 20, 2006
Devil's Shoestring
This plant is called 'The Devil's Shoestring'. It is a parasitic plant that likes to hitch itself to other plants and suck their life juices for it's own nourishment.
In this photo it is attached to a plant called 'Coyote Brush', and living among sage, and iceplant.
June 17, 2006
From an E-Mail we got
Well, it's not a mid-life crisis, but here's how things worked out for me.
Married 25 years, took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."
My wife is a very reasonable woman.
She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed....
June 16, 2006
Learning How to Fly
~Pink Floyd~
Above the planet on a wing and a prayer
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night
There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation; a state of bliss
Can't keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit
I was in the Lompoc Valley when I saw this trainer jet going overhead. The T38 is a jet that is used to train military Pilots for their next step up to a warbird.
Some in Lompoc have complained about the noise of the jets, but the military tries to stay away from the residential areas. To me the jets sound like 'Freedom'.
June 12, 2006
It may be Poison, but it's not Oak
We have Poison Oak in this area. It is similar to the Poison Ivy you see back East. The effects from contact with the oil (called Urushiol) are the same for both plants; an itchy rash, drying skin, and eventually blisters if one scratches. I've found the best remedy to be a day hanging out at the beach with several dunks into the ocean. The salty water seems to kill the spread and reduce the itching, as well as dry it out so that it will cause less bother the next day.
One can use hydrocortisone cream to reduce the itching if the beach is not possible. The cream will reduce the itching, enabling one to reduce its spread. In a week or so it will be past the bad part, and you will be healing well.
There are pills one can take also. I use a homeopathic pill that builds up my immunity before contact. Through the years of taking ‘the pill’ I have acquired a high degree of immunity. So I rarely take the pill anymore. I sometimes still get a little poison oak rash on areas where my clothes rub my skin, such as waistband and ankles.
One can make contact with the oil that gives you the itch from any animal or tool that has been through the plant. I’ve gotten it from snakes, deer, and dogs. The oil can remain active for up to six months on properly stored tools.
This is the Poison Oak vine nearly completely encircling an Oak tree. The poison Oak just uses the Oak tree for support, not nourishment. Poison Oak is not a parasite plant. This particular Poison Oak plant goes some forty feet up this Oak Tree.
Here we see how the vine pushes its way into the crevices of the tree, it will continue up the tree to its eventual forty foot height. It gives a jungle look to these California canyons.
We have two kinds of poison Oak here, there is the bush type, and a vine type. Here is a vine type that has been cut near the base of it's 'host' Oak tree.
This is the best way to combat this plant, you kill the vine when cutting it near the ground like this. After a year of drying in the tree, in the breeze, sun and weather,
it will have lost it's poisonous oil. At this point it can be pulled down with little risk of infection. I cut ours up, and burn it, even the smoke gives me no problem once the plant's been drying for a year like this.
June 13, 2006
It may look like Poison Oak, but it's not
We also have a wild type of blackberry growing in these parts. Some folks make wine from it, but since it likes the same conditions poison oak does, I tend to stay away from it.
Here we have a wild blackberry vine. Note that although the leaves have a huge resemblance to Poison Oak, the stems of blackberry (and other brambles) is covered with little spines.
Now, this is a good example of the similar growth characteristics of Poison Oak and Blackberry. We have both plants growing in one small area here. The blackberry has lighter colored leaves.
This is one way humans can get poison oak from their animals. Here we have the indomitable ‘Susie’ coming up from the creek, charging heedlessly through Poison Oak as if she were on a lifesaving mission to rescue some hapless skier in the Alps. She is now contaminated with the dreaded Urushiol oil, which will be further spread through the house she shares with our neighbors.
June 14, 2006
It may be called Spanish Moss, but it's not Spanish or Moss
The draping effect of Spanish Moss is widely known from scary movies about back-swamp crazy people who eat alligators and talk funny. But we have it too, and we are more likely to eat menudo than 'gators, and we talk right regler.
The Oaks here are spectacular, and when they are draped in this fashion with Spanish Moss they are resplendent. I included the hikers in the photo to show the scale of both the Oaks, the Spanish Moss, and the huge clump of bush Poison Oak in the foreground. This is treacherous country for the unwary, one should not go too far into the backwoods without some knowledge of the land, the plants, the animals, and scariest of all; the strange-food eating funny-talking natives.
Hemlock, the dreaded and dangerous herb that Socrates was forced to drink as a method of execution grows all over California. Although it is an attractive plant at some times of the year, do not mess with it! You can see little reddish/purplish spots on the stem near the ground, these are called 'the blood of Socrates' in reference to the philosopher who met his death by ingesting this poison.
I once planted some of these under the front window because I liked the nice ferny leaves, and appreciated the fact that I’d not have to water the plant, everyone thought it was a bit odd planting poisonous plants. But then again, I’ve been often accused of thinking ‘outside of the box’.
June 11, 2006
THE FIVE SIMPLE RULES TO BE HAPPY
A 92-year-old, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."
"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. "It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
"Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.
"Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
"So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
This above was sent to me by a WWII veteran I know. I have finally learned to believe the old folks when they give me advice. It does not mean I will always do as they recommend, but dang it, when I foul up when they told me I would, it gets the lesson through to me better. And I tend to heed their advice more and more through the years. Thank you Orvel for your kind words and friendship.
~Kahlil Gibran~
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
June 10, 2006
It's Hayin' Time again
Almost all parts of the world practice agriculture in one form or another. The type of agriculture is determined by the needs of the people, and outside factors such as climate, soil types, and pests. In this area one cannot grow much without irrigation.
There are some who grow dryland beans, a traditional crop here. And some will raise cattle. There are many who will grow hay. Hay is any type of long stemmed plant that can be dried and baled together for storage for the future. Different areas will grow their own favorite hay plants that work for their climate. In this area oat hay is a favorite. It can be planted in the fall with the coming of the first rains. It grows through the winter with the natural moisture keeping it growing well. In the late spring it wants to go to seed.
When the flowers are at the ten to fifteen percent open ratio, it is cut. This is the time it contains the most nutrients. The stems are cut near the ground and left to dry for a few days. Then the farmer will come along with a ‘windrow rake’ and rake the stalks into ‘rows’ for easy management, because his work is not nearly done. Every few days he will rake the windrows over so that all of the stems get a few days in the sun to dry. When he judges the moisture content to be right he’ll go along the windrows and bale the hay. All of this equipment is expensive, and hay sells for a very small price (in this area oat hay might go for $8 a bale). There is really no money in it. Many livestock farmers will grow a few fields of hay where they have flat enough ground, and will store it for late summer when the cattle have eaten all the good forage.
There are fellows with the equipment, but little or no land, they will contract with locals to grow hay on unused land. This will give those landowners a little money for the use of their land. It also helps keep enough hay in the local economy to keep the cattle fed.
If one has the land and is not using it, this is a good way to keep the land cleared, otherwise the brush will grow up around the house endangering it due to fire. And it does look nice to gaze out over ‘amber waves of grain’.
Here are some photos of the folks who live down the hills from us, on flatter land where the equipment can be used. Where we live it is just to steep for such equipment, so cattle is the predominant Ag activity.
Here's one of our neighbors raking his hay into windrows to dry in the breeze and sun. the hay has to be dried enough before it can be baled. If it is too wet it will start to build heat due to decomposition, and this will sometimes start a fire which can spread through a barn and take it all down.
~Kahlil Gibran~
Often have I heard you say, as if speaking in sleep, "he who works in marble, and finds the shape of his own soul in the stone, is nobler than he who ploughs the soil.
And he who seizes the rainbow to lay it on a cloth in the likeness of man, is more than he who makes the sandals for our feet."
But I say, not in sleep but in the over-wakefulness of noontide, that the wind speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks than to the least of all the blades of grass;
And he alone is great who turns the voice of the wind into a song made sweeter by his own loving.
Work is love made visible.
And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.
For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man's hunger.
And if you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distils a poison in the wine.
And if you sing though as angels, and love not the singing, you muffle man's ears to the voices of the day and the voices of the night
A large field, raked into windrows.
The weeds growing along the fencelines are actually good for the native animals. Many rabbits will live along these fencerows, and will venture into the fields for food, and back again to the fencelines for their cover.
This field is half baled now.
Traditional baling in this area has always been the regular rectangular bale. But now we are seeing the large 'rolls' coming into this area. It has been the last fifteen years we've seen these rolls. And they are becoming more commonly seen. One rancher I knew bought some and opened them at the top of the hill, he pushed it down and it rolled halfway down spreading hay along the ground for his cattle. He did this with one every few days, to keep his cattle alive during a drought we had back in the early nineties.
~Kahlil Gibran~
Would that I could gather your houses into my hand, and like a sower scatter them in forest and meadow.
Would the valleys were your streets, and the green paths your alleys, that you might seek one another through vineyards, and come with the fragrance of the earth in your garments.
Here is a field, all baled up and ready to be stacked. The farmer will often go along and turn the bales every few days, to make sure they dry nicely before stacking them. There is equipment made to do all of these operations. Gone are the days of the whole family going out and working the hay fields. Automation has taken over Ag where it can.
June 09, 2006
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
~Kenny Chesney~
She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always staring at me
While I'm chuggin along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy
The cats do find their places to laze through these warm spring/early summer days. Some lounge under or in the trees. These two like the tractor. It does not matter where I leave it parked, they will lay on it sometime in the next day or two.
Peaches likes the seat, and Slade likes the hood.
June 08, 2006
CLASS PROJECT GONE WRONG
An elementary school class started a class project to make planters to take home to their parents.
They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants.
The students were given green-ware pottery planters in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze.
The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process.
It was great fun!
They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately, the children were not allowed to take them home.
The cactus plants were removed and small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take them home instead.
The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time!
June 07, 2006
Conversations with the Devil
~Ray Wylie Hubbard~
I had a dream last night I was cast into Hell by a jealous God
The Devil walked up and said "You don't need no lightning rod.
It hardly ever rains down here, I can't recall the last storm.
You aint gonna need that leather jacket, it gets kinda warm.
There's one way in, there's no way out, looks like you're to stay.
The place is a mess, it's overcrowded, more are coming in everyday"
I said, "ah man, wait a minute there's gotta be something wrong,
I aint a bad guy, I just write these little songs.
I always pay my union dues, I don't stay in the passing lane."
And he said, "what about all that whiskey and cocaine?"
I said, "Well yeah, but that's no reason to throw me in Hell,
Cause I didn't use the cocaine to get high, I just liked the way it smelled."
He said "Come on over here son, let me show you around,
Over there's where we put the preachers, I never liked those clowns.
They're always blaming me for everything wrong under the sun;
It aint hard to do what's right... it's just maybe not as much fun.
Then they walk around thinking they're better than me and you,
Then they get caught in a motel room, doing what they said not to do.
Now the murderers and the rapists they go in this fiery lake,
As well as most of the politicians and the cops on the take.
And all the mothers that wait to get to K-Mart to spank their kids,
Instead of showing them to do what's right, they just hit 'em for what they did.
And all the daddies who run off and abandon their daughters and sons,
Oh, anybody that hurts a child is gonna burn until it's done."
"If everybody is down here" I said "who's up in Heaven with God and the Son?"
"Oh some saints and mystics and students of metaphysics 101,
People who care and share and love and try to do what's right,
Beautiful old souls who read little stories to their babies at night.
What you won't find up in Heaven are Christian Coalition Right Wing Conservatives,
Country program directors and Nashville record executives."
Now I said "I've made some mistakes, but I'm not as bad as those guys,
How can God do this to me or can't he sympathize?"
He said "You're wrong about God being cruel and mean,
Oh God is the most loving thing that's ever been seen."
I said "Hotshot tell me this; which religion is the truest?"
He said "They're all about the same, Budha was not a Christian,
but Jesus woulda made a good budhist."
Well I thought about my future, I didn't seem to have much of one,
I looked around to leave but there was no place to run.
I said "I don't suppose I could go back and try living again?
You know, like reincarnation. I hear that's the way it's always been."
"I can't answer that", he said "You're gonna have to wait for that response,
But it's not any more unusual to be born twice than it is to be born once.
Well it looked like I was gonna be stuck here as far as I could tell,
I thought I might as well suck-up, you know, 'what the hell'.
I said "You know that song that Charlie Daniels did?
About how you went down to Georgia and played fiddle against that kid?"
He said "Yeah it broke my heart, but you know, what'cha gonna do?"
I said "To tell you the truth, I thought your solo was the better of the two."
Well then I woke up and I was lying in my bed,
I went upstairs and kissed my little boy on his sleeping head.
I took this dream as a sign from God so I thought I'd better pray,
I said don't ever speak to me directly and thanks anyway.
Now so much has changed about me besides me just giving up red meat,
Some get spiritual cause they see the light, and some cause they feel the heat.
Pretty much my favorite local radio station is K-PIG Radio. Yesterday to commemorate
the unusual and once-in-a-century designation of the date being 6/6/6, they had a whole day of music with the 'Devil' featuring prominently. I heard this song
and liked the style of singing so much, that I decided to pass the amusing lyrics to you all.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't ascribe endearing qualities such as honesty and morality to Satan, but it is good to be able to take a humorous
approach to life and death on occasion.
And dang, I did like that nice easy pickin' style he played on his guitar. |
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June 06, 2006
The State Mottos
Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona
But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas
Lituracy Ain't Everythang.
California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, only smaller
Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids...
And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"...
There Is NO 'Noise' in Illinois
Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's...
And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!
Michigan
First Line Of Defense...From The Canadians
Minnesota
10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections!
Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada
Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon
Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.
Texas
Se Hable Ingles
Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedys
Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin
Come Cut Cheese!
Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place!
June 05, 2006
The Baptist and the Cowboy
A Baptist Preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas.
After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which
was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.
Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
June 04, 2006
A Wide Spot in the Road: Taft
Yesterday I took a business trip to the Central Valley. This is a desert area where oil is king. Here are some photos of my trip. Most of these were taken while driving Hwy 166 from Santa Maria to Maricopa.
Usually I'd drive one of the trucks, but this day I asked Vickie for permission to use her Lexus. Since I have been a good husband, and helped with the dishes, and only drank one beer a day (except for Memorial Day), she let me have her car with the cruise control, A/C and the nice stereo.
This is really a good drive for the family, it is a glimpse into 'Old California'. With side roads such as 'Bull Canyon', 'Tepusquet', 'Sycamore', 'Huasna', 'Alamo', and 'Bitter Creek', you will see California from another angle.
California has supremely excellent North-South freeways (such as Hwy 101 and 5), but most of our East-West highways are small and twist their ways through the mountains that line the coast. Many of these highways are locally called 'The highway of Death' due to the high numbers of traffic accidents. Do not try to make good time on these roads, take your time, and hope to preserve life. Many of these roads (such as this Hwy 166) require lights on during daytime.
The first part of my journey took me past Twitchell Reservoir
Twitchell Reservoir is a beauty for much of the year, but in the summer it is nearly dry. It is used to hold back some of the winter rainwater, and allow it to percolate into the groundwater for the farmers and city of Santa Maria.
The Twitchell Bridge seems to have a disaster happen each year. Eighteen months ago a mobile home plunged over the bridge during a storm while it was being towed across the bridge.
I (pretty much) drive the speed limit, so traffic gets behind me sometimes. In this case it was a herd of 'Hawgs' the big, noisy and fun motorcyles officially called Harleys. These fellows stayed behind me for a mile or so until we came to a straight spot where they could pass me.
The Hawgs passed me, and then promptly got caught behind a truck ferrying a water or oil tank along the road, we all got caught behind this tank truck for some time.
As one passes deeper into the interior of the continent, the trees become more sparse owing to less rainfall, and higher temperatures.
This stream passes for a river in these parts, it is called the 'Cuyama River'. In the winter it runs full and hard, but in the spring it is now a trickle, and will be completely dry by September except for some stagnant pools in low spots. Note the trees are on the north facing slopes where the winter storms pound with rain, and the sun is shaded a bit more. The dry southern slopes tend to run fewer trees.
I titled this photo 'A Lonely Windmill'. But is it really lonely? I mean: this is where the cows hang out.
The desert can grow vegetables well if it is watered. In this case there are hay and carrot fields. But it exacts a terrrible toll on the groundwater. In this area many people now have to go to the 800 foot depth for water. It is expensive pumping water from that depth, and the drilling of wells is a small fortune in itself.
It seems also that hardly anyone wants to talk about the overdrafting of the groundwater. As the water table sinks, the day will come in which it will no longer be cost-efficient to grow food in these water deficient areas. At that (hopefully) far date in the future, the great bread-basket of the world (the despised USA) will no longer be able to ship the bulk of low-cost food to other nations. But maybe it won't matter at that point, since it looks like both the Left and the Right are bound and determined to open the doors to all who want to sneak, fly, ride, boat or hike into (the hated and despised) USA.
The hills here are attractive in their own way. It is like a big tan blanket spread out on the ground, and crumpled up.
I, in my arcane sense of humor titled this 'Oil Company Greed'. Actually, we need oil until we figure out another way to power our transportation. This reminds me of the day I met a woman looking out over the ocean: when we spoke of the beauty of the sea she complained about the oil rigs offshore, how they spoiled the view. Then as we parted, she turned and walked to her big SUV with which she continued her drive.
A spot in the road, Taft California. I grew up in a small town, but it was huge compared to Taft.
June 03, 2006
THREE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:
1. COWS
2. THE CONSTITUTION
3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. COWS,
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall
where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves
to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.
2. THE CONSTITUTION,
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we
just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's
worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.
3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a
courthouse........
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"
and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and
politicians, it creates a hostile work environment!
June 02, 2006
What lies on 'The Other Side'?
~DEATH ~
WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT!
A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said,
"Doctor, I am afraid to die.
Tell me what lies on the other side."
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"
The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside.
He knew nothing except that his master was here,
and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough."
June 01, 2006
Space: The Final Frontier (dang, how cliche)
Way-Cool Space Images Like, totally Dude!
Space is cool, and Cleveland's cold.
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